This past Friday since I was working from home, I had lunch with Kevin. We discussed picking Evie up right after school instead of letting her go to after care. Kevin said that he'd intended to do that anyway, so I called the school to make arrangements. After Care is in the cafeteria but so is Parent Pick Up. The walkers & riders are the first students dismissed from class, then bus kids, then finally aftercare. If I didn't call ahead, Kevin would be standing in the cafeteria for 15-20 minutes longer than necessary. I speak to Mrs. Dennis, the school secretary. Now, I'm positive I said "Please send Evie with the walkers & riders instead of aftercare." I'm less sure that I added "because her father will be picking her up right after school." (chance 1)
Kevin arrives at 3:20 in the cafeteria just as the bottom falls out of the sky. A squall line of thunder storms rolled across us dropping almost an inch of rain in about 30 minutes. He calls me from the cafeteria to bring he & Evie umbrellas. While he's on the phone with me, the first wave of kids enters the cafeteria. Kevin tells me that Evie isn't among them. No big deal, I tell him, Mrs. Gray must not have gotten the message and she'll be in with the after-care kids. I hang up, finally locate umbrellas & rain coats and head out of the house. Just as I'm pulling into the school, Kevin calls me back. Evie isn't with the after care kids either. He heads to her class room. Now, I'm assuming something has held her up in the classroom but I was wrong. Evie isn't with Mrs. Gray either.
I come into the school and speak to both to the teacher in charge of parent-pick up and the woman in charge of after care: neither have seen Evie. I check the girls bathroom and a couple of her friends that I see in the hallway: no Evie. It's now been easily 20+ minutes since school first dismissed. I'm still assuming Evie is somewhere inside the school, maybe the library or an older kid distracted her and she's talking in the hall. I haven't panicked or even gotten upset yet, but it's getting closer to that with each passing minute. Finally, I see Mrs. Gray emerge from the office and she says, "We found her." Granted, I'm wondering why I don't see Evie with her but okay. She tells me that a parent just called to let the school know that she has an extra child at her house.
See, my message to the office wasn't quite clear. Walkers & Riders is what they were called at my school, I guess. At Langley Elementary, they're two distinct groups. Walkers go together out one end of the school and the "riders" are called Parent Pick Ups. They leave from the opposite end, the cafeteria. The school principal had spoken to Mrs. Gray over the intercom telling her that Evie would be a walker today. (chance 2) Now, when it came time to leave, Evie understood what we wanted. She got in the parent pick up line. Mrs. Gray was just following instructions when she corrected Evie and told her that she should be in the walker line. (chance 3) Why my daughter chose 3:20pm on April 27th to start obeying her teacher without resistance, I'll never know. Now, Evie could have said, "Walk where?" but she didn't. She's only 5 years old, after all.
A teachers assistant walks to each classroom, collecting the Walkers in a group to escort them out of the school. This woman asks Evie, "Are you supposed to be a walker today, Evie?" Evie replies for reasons I'll never know, but she's still five years old, "I'm going home with Jorie." (chance 4). I'm sure that was something she & Jorie were giggling about in line, that Evie would just walk to her friends house, so that's the answer Evie gave her. She could have told the lady that she didn't know where she was walking to, but she didn't: still 5. This teacher's asst. and another lead the kids out of the school and a couple of hundred yards through a deluge to the road. She's soaking wet in a sleeveless dress, big backpack and espadrille sandals that now weight 5 pounds from all the water they've absorbed. She's afraid to cross this big street, having never done it before and not knowing where she's supposed to go. She's apparently thinking to herself that Mommy & Daddy want her to walk home. Since she's afraid, another teacher's assistant carries her across this three lane road and deposits her on the sidewalk. (chance 5) The woman could have asked why she was scared or Evie could have told her that she didn't know where to go. Neither does that, so Evie just starts walking along with the other kids. They walk into their subdivision and all head to their houses. We are incredibly lucky that one little girl, a couple of years older than Evie notices her or speaks to her and then takes Evie home with her. The grandmother calls the school to let them know she has an extra child & she's bringing her back to the school.
We joke with her teacher & the teachers assistants about how of course this would happen to Evie, or why she picked now to start following instructions. They've all stayed right with us while we were waiting for her. I think they were as concerned as we were. Then I see them, walking up the sidewalk so we head out to meet them. The only other time my daughter has looked so tiny, helpless & pale to me was coming out of anesthesia when she had her adenoids taken out. She gave us both big hugs, told us she was scared and asked if we could drive her home.... she was tired of walking she tells us. It didn't really hit Kevin & I until later how horribly this could have turned out. She ended up at a house easily over 1/2 mile away from the school door she first exited.
What if this little girl hadn't taken Evie home? How long would she have wandered that neighborhood while we stood at the school? What if someone else had noticed and picked her up? What if she had stepped out into the street & been hit by a car? All the chances everyone involved had where this could have been avoided and we all missed them. I should have used the phrase, "parent pick-up" when talking the the secretary. She could have asked me, "Walkers OR riders?" and explained they were two different things. Teachers or assistants could have followed up because it was obvious (in hindsight) that Evie didn't think she should walk. None of us did that and it turned out alright in the end.
We're going to keep an eye on her over the next week or so. We didn't have much time to talk to her last night because she'd had a scheduled sleep-over with her friend Erika. I want to make sure she doesn't have lingering fear or trauma because of this. But knowing Evie, she'll think it was an adventure and all will be fine. I'm heading out now to pick her up from Erika's. I can't wait to give her another hug.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Tragedy at Virginia Tech
33 people died on the campus of Virginia Tech this Monday. Only one of them made the choice for himself. We watched the news, waiting to hear and hoping that none of my husband's former students were among the dead. None were his students, but it still breaks your heart. Then those who weren't there start questioning the character and bravery of those that were. John Derbyshire http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=YzllOTU0MDUzY2NhZDE2YmViYmRiNmE5ZjM1OWQxYTU= and Nathaneal Blake http://www.humanevents.com/rightangle/index.php?id=22093&title=where_were_the_men seem to think that they've have been brave enough to tackle this armed angry man and save countless lives. I say lock them both in a room with me, give me two semi-automatic hand guns with full clips and we'll see about that.
One of the students that died at Virginia Tech was from Hampton, VA. She and her family lived 3 doors down from our old house. We lived there for 5 years and I'd been in that house many, many times before her family bought it.
I didn't know her and I didn't know her family. I think I'm probably lucky in that regard. It's just strange, ships passing in the night... it's odd how closely we pass in our orbit to people but never know they exist until something like this happens.If it hadn't really hit me before, it's landed like a ton of bricks now.
We did research projects on mass shootings in public places in grad school. Some of the ground work we laid down later became part of published works and graduate thesis. For a while, we'd all find ourselves thinking, as we shopped or ate dinner, how easily we could be picked off by some angry ex-employee. We had to distance ourselves from the humanity of the victims as we read about case after case. I'm ashamed to say that after a while they were just "3 killed in shopping mall" instead of mothers, fathers, daughters & sons of someone.
In the Virginia Tech case, I haven't been able to compartmentalize it in the least. I've been rocked back on my heels by the randomness & senseless nature of it all. Maybe its because I'm now a mother of a school age daughter. I've seen how easy it would be to walk right in to her school, into her classroom or cafeteria. Kevin teaches at a local high school. His class room is the first door as you enter the school from the student parking lot. Kids are forever coming and going. They prop the door open because it stays locked during the day, totally negating the safety net the administration has tried to cast. His band room and the chorus room are separated from the rest of the school by both the cafeteria and the auditorium.We worry about how long it would take any one to notice or respond if there was trouble at his end.
Say a prayer today for the families of those lost and for the futures of those that survived, desperately leaping from a classroom window or pushing on a doorway to keep the gun man outside. I don't envy them their dreams in sleep for years to come.
One of the students that died at Virginia Tech was from Hampton, VA. She and her family lived 3 doors down from our old house. We lived there for 5 years and I'd been in that house many, many times before her family bought it.
I didn't know her and I didn't know her family. I think I'm probably lucky in that regard. It's just strange, ships passing in the night... it's odd how closely we pass in our orbit to people but never know they exist until something like this happens.If it hadn't really hit me before, it's landed like a ton of bricks now.
We did research projects on mass shootings in public places in grad school. Some of the ground work we laid down later became part of published works and graduate thesis. For a while, we'd all find ourselves thinking, as we shopped or ate dinner, how easily we could be picked off by some angry ex-employee. We had to distance ourselves from the humanity of the victims as we read about case after case. I'm ashamed to say that after a while they were just "3 killed in shopping mall" instead of mothers, fathers, daughters & sons of someone.
In the Virginia Tech case, I haven't been able to compartmentalize it in the least. I've been rocked back on my heels by the randomness & senseless nature of it all. Maybe its because I'm now a mother of a school age daughter. I've seen how easy it would be to walk right in to her school, into her classroom or cafeteria. Kevin teaches at a local high school. His class room is the first door as you enter the school from the student parking lot. Kids are forever coming and going. They prop the door open because it stays locked during the day, totally negating the safety net the administration has tried to cast. His band room and the chorus room are separated from the rest of the school by both the cafeteria and the auditorium.We worry about how long it would take any one to notice or respond if there was trouble at his end.
Say a prayer today for the families of those lost and for the futures of those that survived, desperately leaping from a classroom window or pushing on a doorway to keep the gun man outside. I don't envy them their dreams in sleep for years to come.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Mini Me (or what comes around, goes around)
Evie went back to school this Tuesday after being out of school for 10 days over 2 weekends, Spring break and a teacher work day. Honestly, Kevin and I didn't expect much in the way of behavior from her. Among vacation in Disney, the long time off and the inability to fall asleep she'd faked the night before, our hopes weren't very high. Some of you know how they classify children's behavior in schools these days. Each day, a child starts on green and then moves through the spectrum toward purple as the day goes by if they aren't following the rule. It's sort of like Homeland Security threat level meets Mister Rogers Neighborhood.
Kevin picked her up from school on Tuesday afternoon and asked her how she'd been. Here's her reply:
Well, I started on green. First I moved to yellow. Then I got put on orange.
Then duhn-duhn-DUHN (said like a bad guy entered the room) I got on red. And she shrugged.
How he didn't fall down laughing the world may never know. What I do know is that my daughter apparently doesn't take this whole color palette - Wheel of Behavior - I'd like to buy a vowel thing seriously. (insert big heartfelt sigh here) I can only shrug myself and think that I'd have said something very similar.
Kevin picked her up from school on Tuesday afternoon and asked her how she'd been. Here's her reply:
Well, I started on green. First I moved to yellow. Then I got put on orange.
Then duhn-duhn-DUHN (said like a bad guy entered the room) I got on red. And she shrugged.
How he didn't fall down laughing the world may never know. What I do know is that my daughter apparently doesn't take this whole color palette - Wheel of Behavior - I'd like to buy a vowel thing seriously. (insert big heartfelt sigh here) I can only shrug myself and think that I'd have said something very similar.
Saturday, April 7, 2007
Back from the land of all things Mouse
For those that don't know, we spent Spring Break at Disney World again this year. We took Evie last year and this year she was a total pro. She knew exactly which rides she wanted to conquer first in each park and which park she didn't want to visit.
We had so much fun, I can't even begin to tell you. I think we did every single thing I'd planned to do. You guys know that I plan for a vacation like I'm planning for battle, right? I did a lot of research before leaving and came up with lists of rides & experiences that Evie would enjoy. I made sure that we spread things out over the 6 day trip so that we didn't end up cramming things in. We had some wonderful food, had short waits for most rides despite the busy park around us and Evie was as well behaved as I could expect.
The flight down was totally uneventful and even landed 25 minutes early. We were checking into our resort by noon and were at the Magic Kingdom by 1pm. We did only FantasyLand (mostly Princess stuff) the first day but headed to Epcot for dinner at The Nine Dragons. Kevin & I ate there on our honeymoon and have eaten there as part of every trip back since then. Since they served Evie's drink in sort of every day style stemware and not a kids cup, she asked if we could cheers (as she calls it). I was going to offer, "To DisneyWorld" but she said, "To China!" She even greeted our waiter by saying Ni hao pronounced Nee-how. We were all suitably impressed & surprised.
Sunday afternoon, we did Animal Kingdom. The only thing we didn't fit in was a trip on the Kali River Rapids. Evie insisted that she didn't want to do it, so Kevin & I took her out of line and just let it go. Sunday night we were supposed to have dinner with her best friend Victoria, her parents & two of her grandparents along with Cinderella, her Prince, the Fairy Godmother and a couple of mice. Unfortunately, Victoria got horribly sick that afternoon and we had to cancel the reservations. It seems that Disney won't seat 3 people at a table reserved for 8 people. That was fine with us, I guess. Evie took it in stride and didn't get upset at all. Well, she was upset that her friend was sick. Victoria recovered on Monday but her Mom got sick. We didn't even see them while we were there. We headed to Downtown Disney for the evening instead. We at at Wolfgang Puck's again this year and weren't disappointed. Evie got to play on the Lego playground with about 20 other small people. It was fabulous confusion.
Monday morning was A Storybook Princess Breakfast in Epcot (Belle, Ariel, Mulan, Mary Poppins and Snow White). Evie doesn't care that two of those aren't princesses but I think they should adjust the name of the breakfast. We spent the rest of the day in Epcot and did The Land, The Sea and were smart enough to get FastPasses for Soarin' as soon as we entered the park. Turtle Talk with Crush was just adorable. It was animation that was able to converse & interact with kids in the audience. He answered all the questions the kids posed and even demonstrated how when a child asked if Turtles could swim on their backs.
Tuesday we spent the better part of the day at the pool and did Fantasmic in MGM Studios that night. What a great show that was, even if it was the longest we'd stood in line all week (1 hour). Evie found a couple of kids in line to play with or got to sit in the stroller, so she could have cared less about the wait. She didn't really like Disney MGM studios or as she called it, "That town." The entire first section of MGM looks like old Hollywood and to her its just a bunch of shops that spread a couple of blocks. I'm disappointed that we didn't spend time there during the day. She would have really enjoyed the Star Wars experience.
Wednesday was a character breakfast with Mary Poppins, Alice in Wonderland, the Mad Hatter, Pooh & Tigger. Pooh came to see & hug Evie three different times. Evie later commented that it must have been because she wore her Pooh & Friends T-Shirt. Previously she wouldn't get near any of the furry characters, but Pooh was so sweet and irresistibly soft that she let him hang all over her. Tigger kept coming back and kissing her until she finally told him, "No more kisses, Tigger." in a rather stern voice. It was too sweet. She told Alice that the Mad Hatter seemed a little weird, so Alice said, "Oh he's quite mad, I'm sure." in this GREAT voice. Wednesday during the day was spent doing the rest of the things on my list at the Magic Kingdom: Pirates of the Caribbean, Jungle Cruise, River Boat cruise around Tom Sawyer's Island, Steam Train, Magic Carpet ride, etc. Evie even went into the Haunted Mansion, so I was totally proud of her. At night we finally got to see the Spectro-Magic parade and the Magic Kingdom fireworks. We got about 11pm that night, so we didn't wake up too early on Thursday. We gathered our things, had brunch, and toured our entire resort, looking over all the different building themes they had, shopped a bit and let Evie play on the playground before heading back to the airport.
Kevin & Evie got to sleep in on Friday. I worked an 11 hour day. It's now Saturday, I'm in the office for another full day and there are 2 inches of snow on the ground. Can someone remind me why I came home from Disney at all?
We had so much fun, I can't even begin to tell you. I think we did every single thing I'd planned to do. You guys know that I plan for a vacation like I'm planning for battle, right? I did a lot of research before leaving and came up with lists of rides & experiences that Evie would enjoy. I made sure that we spread things out over the 6 day trip so that we didn't end up cramming things in. We had some wonderful food, had short waits for most rides despite the busy park around us and Evie was as well behaved as I could expect.
The flight down was totally uneventful and even landed 25 minutes early. We were checking into our resort by noon and were at the Magic Kingdom by 1pm. We did only FantasyLand (mostly Princess stuff) the first day but headed to Epcot for dinner at The Nine Dragons. Kevin & I ate there on our honeymoon and have eaten there as part of every trip back since then. Since they served Evie's drink in sort of every day style stemware and not a kids cup, she asked if we could cheers (as she calls it). I was going to offer, "To DisneyWorld" but she said, "To China!" She even greeted our waiter by saying Ni hao pronounced Nee-how. We were all suitably impressed & surprised.
Sunday afternoon, we did Animal Kingdom. The only thing we didn't fit in was a trip on the Kali River Rapids. Evie insisted that she didn't want to do it, so Kevin & I took her out of line and just let it go. Sunday night we were supposed to have dinner with her best friend Victoria, her parents & two of her grandparents along with Cinderella, her Prince, the Fairy Godmother and a couple of mice. Unfortunately, Victoria got horribly sick that afternoon and we had to cancel the reservations. It seems that Disney won't seat 3 people at a table reserved for 8 people. That was fine with us, I guess. Evie took it in stride and didn't get upset at all. Well, she was upset that her friend was sick. Victoria recovered on Monday but her Mom got sick. We didn't even see them while we were there. We headed to Downtown Disney for the evening instead. We at at Wolfgang Puck's again this year and weren't disappointed. Evie got to play on the Lego playground with about 20 other small people. It was fabulous confusion.
Monday morning was A Storybook Princess Breakfast in Epcot (Belle, Ariel, Mulan, Mary Poppins and Snow White). Evie doesn't care that two of those aren't princesses but I think they should adjust the name of the breakfast. We spent the rest of the day in Epcot and did The Land, The Sea and were smart enough to get FastPasses for Soarin' as soon as we entered the park. Turtle Talk with Crush was just adorable. It was animation that was able to converse & interact with kids in the audience. He answered all the questions the kids posed and even demonstrated how when a child asked if Turtles could swim on their backs.
Tuesday we spent the better part of the day at the pool and did Fantasmic in MGM Studios that night. What a great show that was, even if it was the longest we'd stood in line all week (1 hour). Evie found a couple of kids in line to play with or got to sit in the stroller, so she could have cared less about the wait. She didn't really like Disney MGM studios or as she called it, "That town." The entire first section of MGM looks like old Hollywood and to her its just a bunch of shops that spread a couple of blocks. I'm disappointed that we didn't spend time there during the day. She would have really enjoyed the Star Wars experience.
Wednesday was a character breakfast with Mary Poppins, Alice in Wonderland, the Mad Hatter, Pooh & Tigger. Pooh came to see & hug Evie three different times. Evie later commented that it must have been because she wore her Pooh & Friends T-Shirt. Previously she wouldn't get near any of the furry characters, but Pooh was so sweet and irresistibly soft that she let him hang all over her. Tigger kept coming back and kissing her until she finally told him, "No more kisses, Tigger." in a rather stern voice. It was too sweet. She told Alice that the Mad Hatter seemed a little weird, so Alice said, "Oh he's quite mad, I'm sure." in this GREAT voice. Wednesday during the day was spent doing the rest of the things on my list at the Magic Kingdom: Pirates of the Caribbean, Jungle Cruise, River Boat cruise around Tom Sawyer's Island, Steam Train, Magic Carpet ride, etc. Evie even went into the Haunted Mansion, so I was totally proud of her. At night we finally got to see the Spectro-Magic parade and the Magic Kingdom fireworks. We got about 11pm that night, so we didn't wake up too early on Thursday. We gathered our things, had brunch, and toured our entire resort, looking over all the different building themes they had, shopped a bit and let Evie play on the playground before heading back to the airport.
Kevin & Evie got to sleep in on Friday. I worked an 11 hour day. It's now Saturday, I'm in the office for another full day and there are 2 inches of snow on the ground. Can someone remind me why I came home from Disney at all?
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