Take The Long Way Home

This past Friday since I was working from home, I had lunch with Kevin. We discussed picking Evie up right after school instead of letting her go to after care. Kevin said that he'd intended to do that anyway, so I called the school to make arrangements. After Care is in the cafeteria but so is Parent Pick Up. The walkers & riders are the first students dismissed from class, then bus kids, then finally aftercare. If I didn't call ahead, Kevin would be standing in the cafeteria for 15-20 minutes longer than necessary. I speak to Mrs. Dennis, the school secretary. Now, I'm positive I said "Please send Evie with the walkers & riders instead of aftercare." I'm less sure that I added "because her father will be picking her up right after school." (chance 1)

Kevin arrives at 3:20 in the cafeteria just as the bottom falls out of the sky. A squall line of thunder storms rolled across us dropping almost an inch of rain in about 30 minutes. He calls me from the cafeteria to bring he & Evie umbrellas. While he's on the phone with me, the first wave of kids enters the cafeteria. Kevin tells me that Evie isn't among them. No big deal, I tell him, Mrs. Gray must not have gotten the message and she'll be in with the after-care kids. I hang up, finally locate umbrellas & rain coats and head out of the house. Just as I'm pulling into the school, Kevin calls me back. Evie isn't with the after care kids either. He heads to her class room. Now, I'm assuming something has held her up in the classroom but I was wrong. Evie isn't with Mrs. Gray either.

I come into the school and speak to both to the teacher in charge of parent-pick up and the woman in charge of after care: neither have seen Evie. I check the girls bathroom and a couple of her friends that I see in the hallway: no Evie. It's now been easily 20+ minutes since school first dismissed. I'm still assuming Evie is somewhere inside the school, maybe the library or an older kid distracted her and she's talking in the hall. I haven't panicked or even gotten upset yet, but it's getting closer to that with each passing minute. Finally, I see Mrs. Gray emerge from the office and she says, "We found her." Granted, I'm wondering why I don't see Evie with her but okay. She tells me that a parent just called to let the school know that she has an extra child at her house.

See, my message to the office wasn't quite clear. Walkers & Riders is what they were called at my school, I guess. At Langley Elementary, they're two distinct groups. Walkers go together out one end of the school and the "riders" are called Parent Pick Ups. They leave from the opposite end, the cafeteria. The school principal had spoken to Mrs. Gray over the intercom telling her that Evie would be a walker today. (chance 2) Now, when it came time to leave, Evie understood what we wanted. She got in the parent pick up line. Mrs. Gray was just following instructions when she corrected Evie and told her that she should be in the walker line. (chance 3) Why my daughter chose 3:20pm on April 27th to start obeying her teacher without resistance, I'll never know. Now, Evie could have said, "Walk where?" but she didn't. She's only 5 years old, after all.

A teachers assistant walks to each classroom, collecting the Walkers in a group to escort them out of the school. This woman asks Evie, "Are you supposed to be a walker today, Evie?" Evie replies for reasons I'll never know, but she's still five years old, "I'm going home with Jorie." (chance 4). I'm sure that was something she & Jorie were giggling about in line, that Evie would just walk to her friends house, so that's the answer Evie gave her. She could have told the lady that she didn't know where she was walking to, but she didn't: still 5. This teacher's asst. and another lead the kids out of the school and a couple of hundred yards through a deluge to the road. She's soaking wet in a sleeveless dress, big backpack and espadrille sandals that now weight 5 pounds from all the water they've absorbed. She's afraid to cross this big street, having never done it before and not knowing where she's supposed to go. She's apparently thinking to herself that Mommy & Daddy want her to walk home. Since she's afraid, another teacher's assistant carries her across this three lane road and deposits her on the sidewalk. (chance 5) The woman could have asked why she was scared or Evie could have told her that she didn't know where to go. Neither does that, so Evie just starts walking along with the other kids. They walk into their subdivision and all head to their houses. We are incredibly lucky that one little girl, a couple of years older than Evie notices her or speaks to her and then takes Evie home with her. The grandmother calls the school to let them know she has an extra child & she's bringing her back to the school.

We joke with her teacher & the teachers assistants about how of course this would happen to Evie, or why she picked now to start following instructions. They've all stayed right with us while we were waiting for her. I think they were as concerned as we were. Then I see them, walking up the sidewalk so we head out to meet them. The only other time my daughter has looked so tiny, helpless & pale to me was coming out of anesthesia when she had her adenoids taken out. She gave us both big hugs, told us she was scared and asked if we could drive her home.... she was tired of walking she tells us. It didn't really hit Kevin & I until later how horribly this could have turned out. She ended up at a house easily over 1/2 mile away from the school door she first exited.

What if this little girl hadn't taken Evie home? How long would she have wandered that neighborhood while we stood at the school? What if someone else had noticed and picked her up? What if she had stepped out into the street & been hit by a car? All the chances everyone involved had where this could have been avoided and we all missed them. I should have used the phrase, "parent pick-up" when talking the the secretary. She could have asked me, "Walkers OR riders?" and explained they were two different things. Teachers or assistants could have followed up because it was obvious (in hindsight) that Evie didn't think she should walk. None of us did that and it turned out alright in the end.

We're going to keep an eye on her over the next week or so. We didn't have much time to talk to her last night because she'd had a scheduled sleep-over with her friend Erika. I want to make sure she doesn't have lingering fear or trauma because of this. But knowing Evie, she'll think it was an adventure and all will be fine. I'm heading out now to pick her up from Erika's. I can't wait to give her another hug.