Tragedy at Virginia Tech

33 people died on the campus of Virginia Tech this Monday. Only one of them made the choice for himself. We watched the news, waiting to hear and hoping that none of my husband's former students were among the dead. None were his students, but it still breaks your heart. Then those who weren't there start questioning the character and bravery of those that were. John Derbyshire http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=YzllOTU0MDUzY2NhZDE2YmViYmRiNmE5ZjM1OWQxYTU= and Nathaneal Blake http://www.humanevents.com/rightangle/index.php?id=22093&title=where_were_the_men seem to think that they've have been brave enough to tackle this armed angry man and save countless lives. I say lock them both in a room with me, give me two semi-automatic hand guns with full clips and we'll see about that.

One of the students that died at Virginia Tech was from Hampton, VA. She and her family lived 3 doors down from our old house. We lived there for 5 years and I'd been in that house many, many times before her family bought it.

I didn't know her and I didn't know her family. I think I'm probably lucky in that regard. It's just strange, ships passing in the night... it's odd how closely we pass in our orbit to people but never know they exist until something like this happens.If it hadn't really hit me before, it's landed like a ton of bricks now.

We did research projects on mass shootings in public places in grad school. Some of the ground work we laid down later became part of published works and graduate thesis. For a while, we'd all find ourselves thinking, as we shopped or ate dinner, how easily we could be picked off by some angry ex-employee. We had to distance ourselves from the humanity of the victims as we read about case after case. I'm ashamed to say that after a while they were just "3 killed in shopping mall" instead of mothers, fathers, daughters & sons of someone.

In the Virginia Tech case, I haven't been able to compartmentalize it in the least. I've been rocked back on my heels by the randomness & senseless nature of it all. Maybe its because I'm now a mother of a school age daughter. I've seen how easy it would be to walk right in to her school, into her classroom or cafeteria. Kevin teaches at a local high school. His class room is the first door as you enter the school from the student parking lot. Kids are forever coming and going. They prop the door open because it stays locked during the day, totally negating the safety net the administration has tried to cast. His band room and the chorus room are separated from the rest of the school by both the cafeteria and the auditorium.We worry about how long it would take any one to notice or respond if there was trouble at his end.

Say a prayer today for the families of those lost and for the futures of those that survived, desperately leaping from a classroom window or pushing on a doorway to keep the gun man outside. I don't envy them their dreams in sleep for years to come.